Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Imprisoned in the gym...

DistanceTimeRoutePace
888:10 mins.Treadmill11:01 mins./mi.

Eat it, Eminem, today was my day for 8 mile. As my alarm buzzed at 6:05 a.m., I awoke to the pitter-patter of rain on the window. When the going gets wet, the wet head to the gym. Running on a treadmill stinks. It's kind of like being a Vikings fan. You work a lot, and don't ever get anywhere. Plus I can't ever get my pace right. Too fast. Too slow. There are other disadvantages to the gym, too, which I will summarize in convenient list form. Don't say I never did nothin' for you.

Running outside vs. the gym.

Scenery:
Outside, I look at the ocean, the trees, people at bus stops and the athletic forms of my fellow runners.
In the gym, I look at that 75-year-old guy on the stairmaster, the dirty carpet, and the ever-rippling movement of my torso.

Smells:
Outside, I smell the fresh sea breeze, the piney zest of the trees and diesel exhaust.
In the gym, I smell the stale stank of 1,000 armpits past, the mildew mustiness of the locker-room showers and my own surprisingly pleasant aroma. The bouquet transports me back to high school. Towel-snap anyone?

Behavior:
(I have a tendancy to bellow to inspire myself on long runs.)
Outside, my yell sounds triumphant as I plod along.
In the gym, my yell marks me as a deranged lunatic, and garners looks from the aforementioned 75-year-old guy on the starmaster.

Breathing:
Outside, my heavy breathing powers me to achieve.
In the gym, my heavy breathing inhales more germs than they keep at the Centers for Disease Control.
Outside, me breath marks me as a champion.
Inside, my gasping sends the gym staff searching for the defibrilator.
Outside, when my nose starts to run, I blow it, and I spit on the ground.
In the gym, when my nose starts to run, I blow it, and I spit on the carpet. Then they kick me out and revoke my membership.

Comments:
Hi there, I was surfing the internet and I found your blog. I like the way how you have put it all together. I'll be coming back again.

Regards,


 
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