Tuesday, December 14, 2004

I didn't do it. I swear. Honest.

I'm so desperate, I'm thinking of calling Mark Geragos.
Yesterday afternoon, the accusations were flying around the newsroom.
"So," the sports guy said. "I heard you whacked Kenny."
Another chimed in.
"You felt the heat, so you took him out. Just couldn't play fair, could you."
So today, I just want to go on the record and say I have nothing to do with Kenny's injury.
I didn't trip him.
I didn't jump out of the bushes and tackle him.
I didn't slip dioxin into his diet soda.
I didn't put a tack in his shoe.
I didn't train a wild badger to spring on him from a tree and gnaw at his ankle.
And I certainly didn't pay my personal bodyguard/lover to whack him repeatedly in the leg with a metal pole. I swear. Honest. It's all media speculation. You can't prove anything.
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