Tuesday, November 30, 2004

The Clinic is a Cult

Tonight was the second clinic. I am more convinced than ever that it is a cult. We have a charismatic leader (with a mustache, nonetheless.) I got to the Big Sur Marathon clinic room, and there were mantras written all over the room:
"No problem."
"I am smooth."
"Easy to finish."
"26.2, No sweat."
"I am strong."
"I am fast."

My mantras for the night:
I am sick.
I am tired.
I am a big fat baby.

Run. Breathe. Blow. Run. Barf. Spit. Repeat.

3.8 mi.40:56 mins.Around PG10:46

I picked up a cold from the airport, or from Minnesota, or from that mystery drink I swiped from the busboy's tray at the bar Friday night. Now, I usually use a cold as an opportunity to take a day off work, rent some movies, get goofed on over-the-counter cold remedies and pretend that I'm Anna Nicole Smith for a day. But I decided, for some reason, to take my vitamins, drink some water, eat a Cliff bar, and go for a run. Oops. It was actually a pretty good run. As I warmed up, I could blow my nose really easily. There weren't any problems until I got back home. I burped. My mouth filled with Cliff Bar and water, as I feared it would earlier this month. Gross.

Saturday, November 27, 2004

I am a human gerbil.

6.0 mi.69:20 min.treadmill11:33

This was the first time I doubted that I would be able to run the Big Sur Marathon. I journeyed to my parents' health club with my sister and a raging hangover in tow. The place was throbbing with humanity. So, I thought, this is where all the people go when it's cold in Minnesota. This was my worst run to date. I had to stop and walk. On the treadmill. My little sister, on the other hand, ran 7-minute mile after 7-minute mile, all the while yelling at me to drink water and hold my hands up in the air like Nixon leaving the White House. All the ladies were staring, and not in a good way. A couple more runs like this, and she won't have old Jon to kick around any more. Maybe I shouldn't have had that sixth beer the night before. There weren't even any hills.

Thursday, November 25, 2004

Frozen turkey in tights. Gobble gobble.

3?33:48 mins.Around Minneapolis??

After taking the red-eye home to Minneapolis, I had the brilliant idea of going out for a jog outside. What better way to see the old neighborhood? I swathed myself in a hat, gloves, vest and tights (ladies, control yourselves) and headed outdoors. "Who knows?" I thought, "Maybe my new athletic self will run into some cute suburbanites?" File that under U, for unrealistic expectations. There's no one outside in Minnesota in November. There aren't even furry little forest animals, like squirrels and gophers and marmots and the like. They sleep underground, becuase it's apparently warmer than the surface, which is a frozen hellscape. It was so cold that my sweat froze my theighs together and they had to hose me down with warm water just so I could move. But it was good to run before I gorged myself later that night. And gorge I did.

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Early to rise?

5.0 mi.55:56 mins.Lovers to Asilomar R/T11:11 min./mi.

I've mostly abandoned the treadmill at night in favor of running outdoors in the morning before work. But it's really hard to get out of bed in the morning. I hit the snooze bar 4 times, for a total of 40 minutes. Late to run. Late to work. I'm just slow. At least that's what the IQ test results said.

Saturday, November 20, 2004

Run. Barf. (almost)

5.4 mi.58:11 mins./sec.Lovers to Window R/T10:47 mi./sec.

This was a fast run on the rec trail. Things started to really pick up for me in the last two miles. I felt great. So, at the end of the run, at Lovers Point. I decided to take my time, and perch on a picnic table to enjoy the sights and sounds of the sea. Sipping my bottle of water, my stomach started telling me that it was unhappy. I worried that its contents (a cliff bar and water) would be making an encore performance. But, after resting a few minutes, the spinning subsided and the digestive revolution was effectively quelled. Lucky me.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

Feeling my pulse -- in the wrong place

Today I woke up and I felt my left glute muscle pulsing like the telltale heart, but in the wrong place. Twitch. Twitch. Suspicious. Fortuanately, it went away after a couple hours at my desk. My sister said it was the muscle building up and that I shouldn't worry. I called shananigans on her and decided to take the day off. Krispy Kreme, here I come.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Getting faster

4.4 mi.48:43Lovers Point to Asilomar R/T11:05 min./mi.

I am beginning to build more confidence in my running. Look at tubby go! Go tubby go!

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

A daily run

3.1 mi.34:42 mins.Home to PG High School Track11:09 mins./mile

This run was fun. I tried to push myself on the mile I did on the track, but only ran an 11:03 min. mile. Still bulbous.

Saturday, November 13, 2004

I put the "ick" in clinic

Tonight was the first of the free training clinics for the marathon and I was the fattest guy there. I wrote about it in The Herald.

First steps

5.4 mi.62 mins.Lovers Pt. to Window on the Bay roundtrip11:30mins./mi

I'd been "training" for about a week and a half after deciding to run the marathon. This run was the longest I'd done to date, and the first time I'd noticed the rec trail's myriad aromas greeting anyone with the misfortune of having working olfactory nerves. Seals, and trash and dead fish. If the sea is a harsh mistress, she's a harsh mistress who needs deodorant.

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